Final Interdisciplinary 3-D Sculpture

The Emotional Spectrum of Modern Dance: Ecstasy/ Anger

paper mache`, beads, sand, acrylic

something old, something new

I started my 'no poo' routine yesterday. Poo being short for shampoo. I'm pretty excited and very curious as to what is going to happen and how long it will take to 'acclimate' to the change. I'll take pictures as I go. As for the newer things, tomorrow I submit some of my art work to a local art show. None of my items are for sale of course, since I hoard all of my work. Edvard Munch ain't got nothing on me. He is a favorite of mine but it was by accident that I discovered we have this in common. I'll probably post my pot from ceramics soon too. I am also stepping out of my sheltered world and joining the ceramics guild at MSU. A week for new beginnings.

  

Van Gogh's Secret

cardboard, glue, and spray paint with acrylic

 Oct. 2012

                                       The Path Up
                                           Charcoal on newsprint
                                         October 2012

    I've been working in the ceramics room and drawing quite a bit this semester. I love the classes. Not so much the 25 minute burn from the drawing instructor that I experienced last Thursday. It may have been no where near that long but it sure felt like it was about two hours. He was right, the drawing was awful. I've worked with so many materials over the years that drawing took a close rank to none. My perspective was terrible, completely off from where it was supposed to be. My drawings were incompetently rendered. My bad. I think that burn session did motivate me to step up my game a bit. I've been more focused since then and stopped expounding on how bad of an artist in the field of drawing I am. Self fulfilling prophecies are unnecessary.
    Ryan has still been doing really great, some issues here and there but he knows that I'm not backing down this time. I'm finishing college this time.

Tried to straighten my hair this morning. I bought a hair straightening iron at a yard sale last month and asked the lady I bought it from how to use it. I'm pretty sure she explained it pretty well but my hair has the ultimate control so it went south quickly. I think my hair ended up worse than when I started out. I ended the ordeal by chopping off half an inch all around. I have bangs again! Agh.

Left brain or Right?

The Accord
Oil/Acrylic on canvas board
16" x 20"
April 1, 2012

In Motion
Acrylic
11 1/2" x 8 1/2"
January-March 2012

Come on, spring!!!

Was just reading over my last post. I'm going to blame sleep deprivation. I don't know if that is really that great of an excuse but that is where I'm taking it. Things have been pretty chaotic here. It is almost spring, and I have my bags of flower seeds just aching to get into some soil. I'm doing things a little differently this year, hopefully with some awesome results. I'm planning on getting out with some grass seed and the tiller as soon as it is possible.

OH BOY!!!

One week into classes. I'm sick as a dog. My Mom passed away one year ago, so today has to be dark, overcast, and gray, even if the weather were not available for that, though it is. My classes are going really well, even though I've still not procured all of my books. I'm hoping my last textbook arrives today. I suppose I just have a head cold, but dear mercy, it is awful. I'm usually not the one to get sick. I also found a reason to think of doppelgangers yesterday. I kept looking at this lady in the art department trying to figure out where I knew her from. This morning I figured it out. I have pictures from ten years ago that look just like her. She is successful ME! O.K. I'm not saying she is 'actual' me, just that she looks just like I did before I got fattened up by home life. She pursued the art whereas I just plopped ,myself at home like a lump. I find myself strangely drawn to her. This of course, leads to some other off the wall thoughts. Like, what if there is a ME out there that is homeless, a ME that is trying to become a world famous violinist, a dancer, a singer, and a billion other possibilities? Each one with different life circumstances, like I was adopted. What if there was wealthy ME, super poor ME, and two parent ME, single Dad ME, single Mom ME? City raised Me? Which of course leads me to the thought that it would not just be ME, but YOU too!!! Lots of doppelganger YOUs and MEs out there, experiments for the higher ups???

Lost

Today I've made sure I have everything read for class in the upcoming week. I sat down and wrote my best friend who moved to Illinois pretty suddenly after she had an accident last winter. I've not been very faithful about writing, I suppose since it hurts so badly to be here without her, most likely one of my only true friends. I've been pretty vehement about not missing her but I'm lying to myself. I miss her so bad that it burns. I feel lost in the chaos that is every day. This hurts worse than all of the times I've ended any relationship, from walking away from friends who I discover are just asses, to all of my three divorces. The worst part, I've denied it for so long and she is not doing very well. She has been so sick and she is older. I feel like an insipid idiot for having pushed her further away, but now I do have a taste of what she probably felt when John and I moved off to where he was teaching. She has been a mother to a girl who never had one really. I feel like my heart is on a delay and now I get to feel the pain from having essentially lost the only person I've called friend besides my current husband.

Well, college has started and so far, it is at least interesting. I'm pretty excited about a new black and white acrylic painting and a three part collage. I've put the sewing machine up for the time being. Perhaps on spring break I'll be able to get a good start on the Americana Log Cabin quilt. It is cold and I'm feeling rather hopeful. Ryan has not lost it so far so that is good. John is still stick at home for the time being so all is well on the eastern front.

Young men's cologne...

Oh dear mercy. Classes start in 2 more days, and no word on my financial aid. This could be bad. Who knows. I'm a bit trepidatious about going back to college at 34 as an art major. Scary stuff. Here I am running around almost as flaky as a woman could be, my mind perpetually wandering elsewhere, even during other people's conversations. I'm a little nervous since I'm the older student and as an art major, I suppose I'm supposed to have some sort of style. Ha! I am completely lacking in fashion, style, or even class. I'm just some humdrum house wife and mother that has been stuck in the house for ten years. I have anxiety around crowds and am highly uncomfortable with people in general. I'm seriously intimidated by the upcoming experience. Not that I've not been in college before, but then I was a government major, experienced in the field I was going into and highly confident. Law is a much easier standard to live up to than being an artist.

Worry, worry, worry till your worrier is sore...

John and I have discussed the idea of worry today. He has declared my lack of worry being more akin to hopelessness. I cannot dwell each moment on the things that I have no control over. He says choice is an illusion, but I disagree. I think we all have choices, we either make them and do what we must to accommodate the lives we want to lead or we make choices to be obstinate and stifle our own creativity and become our own detrimental tool. 

Perhaps yesterdays post was a bit long winded. I wanted to get that out of my system though to perhaps alleviate some of the frustration of the current situation. It is a beautiful day today and I'm considering charging the batteries for the camera and heading outside into the snow dipped landscape. Maybe head to the bank before it closes today and go out for lunch even though I really cannot afford to. It'll be fine. I also want to finish putting the button eyes on the 'pin head' I made yesterday. I'll post a pic after I finish the buttons. Also getting ready, and I'm pretty excited about this, to cut the material for a new quilt. Americana here I come!

So, I was lying in bed yesterday when something hit me. We have been reading this whole man/woman thing all wrong. When you see some old guy hanging close to his younger lady 'friend', you think gold digger about her and cradle robber about him. Or the ever elusive cougar, when you see her strutting her stuff with the hot young guy? You don't even have to say it. I know. I've thought it too. "Dear God, I'd love to find a man that looks like that." Now granted, this was well over ten years ago when I was thinking this, but! You know what I mean. So, now, here was what hit me. (Sometimes you may just have to bear with me, I get sidetracked easily in my old age.) Young women develop mentally rather quickly, and in in constant 'life review'. In other words, they ALWAYS are running their mouths. Been there, done it. Young men, well, they can only think of one thing, constantly, and they want to participate in that activity more than anything else. I recall when I was young that sex was an 'obligation'. I didn't want my boyfriend to dump me for some hussy, nor my husband (NOT at the same time...) to feel put off by me. I never even used headaches as an excuse. I wonder if most young ladies feel the same way. Do not really ENJOY sex so much as it is part of the job requirement. Now, on to the older people's parts in this mess. Men develop mentally MUCH later (no offense guys, it is the truth). Empathy is something men rarely develop till mid to late 30's. So, now, when men suddenly develop mentally, they are looking less at the ladies breasts and wanting to 'chat', snuggle and other such madness. Women on the other hand have already been doing the life review thing for years. We are finished talking and looking to do some doing, we don't want some guy talking anymore. Of course here our guy is, blabbering away about how great his lasagne turned out last night and the older woman just wants him to shut up and put that thing somewhere warm and wet. So, older men/ younger women: Bonding because they are both hyper-emotional. Older women and younger men: Bonding due to hyper sexuality. Hmmm... I really think I may be onto something here.

Mt. Lakigi: Breathtaking view

My Bear.

Primitive long bonnets I've been making for some of the local ladies.

Live. Love and laugh still in progress.

The quilted couch throw and pillows.

Nine Patch quilt I made for Michael.

Michael kisses the stone man painted at Lakigi.

Brothers hanging out on the summit.

Balancing Ryan

My beautiful quilt. Some might say I'm full of myself but I truly feel I outdid myself making this log cabin quilt.

The long view of the log cabin quilt I made.

My handmade wild flower and bittersweet wreath

Taken at the fish hatchery while waiting on everyone to get back from the river, counting fish. Ryan and Michael had on their school shoes and were both a touch sniffley so we didn't want them walking in and getting sick.

One of my more recent paintings. Oil. Serenity

Ryan and Michael are in school now and I'm deciding if dealing with the rain and the stench of my indoor dog, Rupert since being sprayed by a skunk three times in one day, is really worth it. I was trying to quit smoking but have gradually started back again, one cigarette at a time. I'm pretty frustrated with the teenage attitude today. Everyone is cranky and on edge. It is not like it is freezing cold or could have cabin fever. The tension has not abated since Ryan came home fro Spectrum. Michael is resentful, and of course that could be more to do with puberty than anything his brother has ever done.